Archive for Daily Happenings

Near Death Experience #3: Hit By a Train.

When: 1997

Where: Boston, Massachusetts.

Remember habat il game boys? wasnt it the best? I had a see through one that day. I was walking bil subway WHILST playing with my new gameboy. Let me tell you something, THAT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA!

Why: Cuz i got so into the game that i lost focus on everything around me, all i was hearing were the mario sounds on the teeni tiny device, i was winning i had just gotten to a higher stage. What i didnt realise was, i was walking diagonally heading on the right side instead of straight, and what was on my right side? Yep, the train.

So i kept on walking and walking, heading for that speeding, huge scary train to hit me.  There were three steps left for me, to step right infront of the train. I heard the horns of the train going ballistik, but what i didnt know was that they were for me. 2 steps left for me to be infron of that train, and i heard distant screams of my name. Then i looked up and everything was suddenly crystal clear i had stepped the final step right infront of the train, i couldnt move or think, and everything went slow motion, i saw the driver panic and gesturing for me to move, but i kept staring, i could still hear my mom shouting in a distant, i saw my cuzin running so fast towards me, “she’ll never make it on time” i thought, I saw strangers looking at me waiting for me to do something, isaw evertying. Then i closed my eyes expecting myself to die

BUT! i was yanked from the back of my shirt that i landed on my butt SO HARD. I fell on my back staring at the cieling still shocked. I saw her, It was my cuzn, my beautiful savior! Then my mom came running and cussing at me while i was still lying on the floor , in pain. “intay 7mara! maynona! matshofeeen?! wain li3btich hathi 3a6eneyaha”.

Oh well i bet she was used to it by now:P


***Coming to you live from Enchanteurs brain***

Professor McGorgeous

I cant even begin to explain on how BLANK my brain is, sarli sina ga3da a7awel afaker ib shay akteba BAS MO RATHI YE6LA3 SHAY! LAISH?!

So i decided to do what i do best, and it is to improvise. SO this post is coming to you live from my oh so mediocre brain. So, since you love my horror stories (meaning my most embarrasing moments;p) Im going to think of one.

OH! did i tell you i have a crush on one of my proffesors?! He is so dreamy and intimidating. I LOVE HIM! too bad he’s married and had kids. So let me tell you what happened in class today.

As usual his lecture was going by so BEAUTIFULLY with his brilliant ideas, as he was explaining how important and issential literature is in our lives he asks:

Professor McGorgeous: so what does literature give us, and what is the question in literature…

Me: (cutting him off) What is life?

Professor McGorgeous stares at me for 3 seconds and says: Wow, beautiful amazing. And what is your name?

As he turns around to write those three words on the board.

Me: enchanteurs.

He turns around and stares at me again for a GAZILLION SECONDS.

Professor McGorgeous: Enchanteurs, that is a name i must always remember, beautiful beautiful.

ISNT HE DREAMY?!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHH!! and i melted in my seat!!!!!! and felt my face turn red and felt ALL envious eyes were on me !!! I WAS THE QUEEN OF THE CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




***coming to you live from enchanteurs brain***

PS: FOR A DAMN REASON MY FONT MO GA3ED ISEER PUPLE GOT ANY TIPS?! :@ 

Locked up!

Let me tell you about il salfa ili saratli a couple of days ago:

It all started when i decided to spend the night at my friends house, the night went very nicely istanasna yanaina oo fesalna oo ista5afaina shway;p

THE NEXT MORNING! was another story though;p

Woke up, at 11:50 am. Makan ako a7ad mawjod my friend (sa7bat il bait) went off to a job interview, her sister oo brother kan 3indehom dawam, my other friends meshaw ra7aw il bait they had something i dunno what tho.

Fa ana ga3adt 3ala rawa2a oo il bait fathi oo mafeeh a7ad dashait il 7amam wentaw ib karama, oo yet ba6la3 min il 7amam to go back to sleep since no one was there. (picture this ana wayed ma5tha ra7ti fa 6al3a min il ghurfa wearing boxers 3ala homer simpson oo top <lets just say, ina mo msatar>)

Fa ba6la3 min il 7amam, bas the damn door wouldnt open!! so i start to freak out and try to fiddle with the door but it WONT BUDGE!!! wag3ad taqreeban 15 minutes trying to open it until my fingers get sore(is that how u spell it?:S) anyway! LUCKILY! i had my phone with me so i call up my friend:

Sara: alo

Me: saroo wainich?!

Sara: on my way home? ha ga3adtay?

Me: umm yes, but ako moshkela.

Sara: shnoooo?!

Me: IM LOCKED IN UR DAMNED BATHROOM! AGAIN! (yes ham the night before ingefal 3alay btw)

Sara: WHAT?! aGAIN! INTAY SHETSAWEEN FEL BAAB!!!

Me: SHBASAWI B3AD! ITS NOT LIKE I DO IT OPN PURPOSE YA3NI! WALA ASAWE SHAY ZYADA!!!:@

Sara: huff, zain zain yala am coming home.

Me: OK:(

2 minutes later i hear someone, fiddiling with the door.

Me: m-m-meno??

5adama: Meee madam i try open door.

So i think, yaay! someone to save me. so i lie in the tub and call my friend wasolif 3ala ma the door gets fixed. Another 15 minutes pass, nothing!

Sara: haaaaaa! u still alive?!

Me: yes finally!! yala try get me out of here plz!!!:'(

Sara: am trying! am trying!

I wait and wait to what feels like an eternity! I hear sara talking on the phone.

Sara: yes my friend is locked in the bathroom shsawe i cant open the door!!! …. ok thanx!

So i think Yaaay ! she found a solution.

Sara: my brother is coming to open the door.

Me: LAAA SARA PLZ!!! ASTE7III!!!

Sara: chub chub!!

Fa i think.. ok her brother meyana fa 3adi ya3ni ill manage.

oo emer il wagt wana an6er wan6er.

Sara: kaa al7een Fahad beye.

Me: WHAT !!! FAHAD?! 3ABALI YOUSEF?!?!!? (yousef is her younger brother ili ana 3adi weyah, BUT FAHAD IS HER HALF BROTHER ILI I NEVER MET IN MY LIFE!!!)

Me: SARA U TOLD ME YOUSEF!! LA LA MABI PLZ SARA NOOOOO!!! MATADREEN SHLABSA ANA!!!!

Sara: would rather stay in there?

ME: YES!!!!!!

Her brother comes, oo yeg3ad i3abil bel baab, oo ham mako fayda, so the last solution is to break down the door. and he does, oo he was so sweet yetghashmar weyay to make me feel better, didnt work but atleast he tried;p

So he drills his way in and manages to open the door oo iro7 so i could pass, fa a6la3 raketh min il 7amam oo an5ash bel ghurfa. oo il bab was slightly open and i catch a glimpse of him and he was DAMN CUTE!!

So i call out: THANK YOUUUUUU!!

Him: il 3afoo shda3wa! masawaina shay!!

and my heart melts, thinking “allah my saviour” and aroo7 asaker il bab 3ashan mayshof il 7ala il hola ili ana feeha, and the door opens again, waro7 asakra wel bab yetba6al again!!!! HA!!!

then my hero leaves, then sara comes in the room, angry as hell!

Sara: INTAY SHFEECH!?

Me: WHAT?!

SARA: LAISH ITSAKREEN IL BAB!!?

Me: 3ashan mayshofni haw!!

SARA: SHFEECH YAL GHABEYA ! IT WAS A PERFECT OPPURTUNITY FOR U GUYS TO MEET AND FALL IN LOVE!!! NOW HE DIDNT SEE YOU AND U WONT GET MARRIED!! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT IF U GUYS FALL IN LOVE!!!!

ME: EE 3ASHAN LAMA NETZAWAJ AGOL 7AG 3YALNA ANA OO OBOKOM WE FELL IN LOVE 3IND BAB IL 7AMAM!!!!!!!!!?!?!?

**The end** ;p

Adri post 6iweel bas would have been a cute story if he saw me and fell inlove?!:P

Greetings From Turkey!

Helloow my peeps,

I type to you with tired fingers, tired eyes, and tired ass. (sorry had to say that)

I’m in Turkey now (transaiting) 3ala golat 5aali ;p for 5 freaking hours ! Then heading for poland, lemme tell how this little trip of ours is gunna be.

First things first 6ayaratna 6arat bil sima il 3ali il sa3a 2 il fayer oo il 7ilwa enchanteurs mirtaza il sib7 min il sa3a 9 (dont ask why! cuz i dont freaking know! :@)  ok so 4 hours min kuwait leh turkey, then transaiting for 5 hours, then min turkey to warsaw 1.30 or 2 hours, ba3dain min warsaw to our house in a car for 2 hours. yep, BEAUTIFUL! 😀 am so freaking happy!! and not tierd at all !!!

anyway lail7en wisihn ina ako internet in poland cuz we livin bil reef! (crossing fingers) see laters pplz!

People I’m Back!

5alaaaaast finals ! barkooliii !!!! seriously saifi in ku o ib kuleyat il adab o 3 mawad o ib hal 7ar, IS NOT EASY! its painful i tell you.. PAINFUL! i missed you guys i missed my blog !!

So updates:

Am travelling tomorow night, im hoping where am going ako internet 3ashan asoliflikom hnak (crossing fingers).

Two of my grades came out and they both were higher than i expected (yippi).

I’ve prepaired a suprise for you, inshala u like it, its coming soon. (crossing fingers again) 😀

5adamatna in7ashat! :S that *****!! wala mateste7i moshkila magasarna weyaha wala 😦 sij ini ma7ebha bas still!!! mama oo baba thayeg 5ilg’hom.

There’s a little part of me that doesnt want to travel 😦 madri laish awal mara!!

Btw im still really busy! 3adatan i pack gabel la i travel ib sboo3 bas lail7en i didnt pack 3adil ! :@

Last but not least I MISSED U SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Enchanteurs. xx

Umm update..? WHY CANT I COMMENT ON BLOGS?! :@

Omi Bulbul bil English! ;)

Where: in the car .

Who: Mom, My niece, and the Driver.

What: On the way going to drop off my niece bait’hom bil jabria, oo our driver is new fa maydel 3adil o he only speaks english. Oo Omy mashala wayed tetkalam english 3adil. Fa the driver i6oof da5lat bait i5ti, fa my mom tabi tgoola wagef! bas bel english.

Mom: NOOO!! STAND UP!!  STAND UP!!!!!

Al Nasek Wel Fa2ra..

Ok, so did i tell you how much i suck in arabic? BIG TIME! sij sij sij u have no idea how much i suck bil 3arabi. Let me tell you HOW MUCH i suck, well fee mada am sure most of u KU-ers know ili ihya jamaleyat il adab il 3arabi. I took hal mada 3 times and hal summer course is my fourth time, yes i failed every single time i took it. Il moshkela i love arabic literature oo amot 3ala shay isma il shi3ir il jaheli! BAS MA3ARF AKTEB!:| seriously i suck!! anyway hal course il diktor 6alab mina ina i7na inqadem taqreer 3an an arabic short story oo nakteb il mo7tawayat oo bla bla bla.. Me thinking oh crap how am i guna do this, so i ask one of my friends to help, and she did, i handed it in, thinking i might atleast get an 8 out of 10, lana leh hal daraja ana wathqa ib my friend:D

So the day of announcing the grades, the proffessor starts calling out names and saying what they got.

Doc: flana flani , 9/10. falana flaani thani 8/10, flana falaniya 10/10.

While i was thinking hey the grades are not so bad 3ayal akeed i got a good grade.

Doc: Enchanteurs?

Me: na3am diktoor:D oo ib kil thiqa oo raza.

AND HE STARTS LAUGHING!!!

Me: SHnoooooooo!?

Doc: intay shlonich bas?

ME: *Shocked* zaina?

Doc: la la wala 7ilfay bas?

Me: *thinking shit what the hell* walla il 3atheem?

Doc: ana bas2elech so2al? fan il qesa il qaseera meta 6ala3?

Me: umm madri?

A butt kisser says: diktor fil 3asr il 7adeeth?

Me having no idea whats going on, bs! still giggiling like crazy ! 😛

Doc: ok, oo 3abdulaah bin il muqafa3 ib ay 3asr mawjood?

Me: madri :$ teeheheh

Doc: bel 3asr il 3abasiii!!! shlooon qesa qaseera bil 3asr il 3abasiiiiii?!!? ma3rof ina fan il qesas il qaseera ikon min shay waqe3ii mo 5ayalii?!

Me: ee diktor il 2qesa mo 5ayaleya!

Doc: AKO FAARA (Mouse) TETKAALAAM!?!?!?

The whole class erupts with laughter oo ana wayhi mo bas a7maaaaaaar!! 7adi meftashla! ;p

Bas ashwa he gave me another chance to hand it in 😛 oo i think this time this friend knew what she was doing 😛 and i got a 13/15 bil midterm! CAN U BELIEVE THAT! i cant! 😛 eheheheh i cant wait to get this subject out of my face! 😛

Near Death Experience #2: Thrown off a Balcony.

So, here comes the second time i almost died. 6ab3an after reading my first near death experience im sure inkom istaw3abtaw am not a normal person, im clumsy, accident prone, and well unlucky!

Year: August 1987

Where: Cyprus

My family and “the 9 months I” have flown to cyprus to summer. And a wonderful holiday it was, from what i have heard. Not that i know squat of whats been going on. However, little did my family know that amongst them a maid was on the verge of heading for a nervous break down, or 3ala golat 3amati ya imsawelaha si7ir or feeha mas. Igoloon she used to speak in a different voice and act nuts like go sleep on my parents bed and flirt with my father (in6agat 6ag maskeena), or faj2a gam ye6la3 minha dood madri shno, sorry bas really thats what happened!

Anyway one of the crazy things she did was:

Around 3 pm, every one was sleeping 3ugb il ghada, she sneaks into my parents room and takes me min bain omi oo oboy without anyone noticing. And sneaks her way out of my parents room and heads for the balcony. (I was asleep) LUCKILY! 3amiti was walking around in the kitchen and noticed someone pass by fa she got out of the kitchen and saw her dangling me men il balacona. 3amiti was in a state of shock bas managed to act wisely to save my very young life. She walks behind her and says, “Bibi? shno ga3da tsaween?” While she was still holding me bara il balacona, if she lets go, am gone. She doesnt answer, still holding me. My aunt takes a step closer, where bibi thought of that step as a threat and shook me really hard, signaling to 3amiti ina itha garabtay age6ha. That shake woke me up and i started crying, waking my parents up, omi 6a7at ghashyana awal mashafat il manthar 😛 but somehow 3amiti sa7elat’ha  telling her “7aram 3alaich hathi baby, latge6eenha”. And somehoooow! i ended up in 3amiti’s arms. and was safe again.

Lo ga6atni? chan mako enchanteurs:$

6oo6 6oo6! esfe6 3al yemen..

A couple of days ago, around 9 am..

In my car and on my way to the university, and chatting away on the phone.. (with no headset).. on the phone.. (remember? its illegal)..

So lama wesalt 3al da2eri il thalith.. ashoof dawreya yamii, and unlike any other person enchantuer says.

Me: weeee! ako dawreya yamiii!!

(on the phone) Alley: inzain khesheeh ya madrii shagoool!!

Me: la la mayestaw3eboon! agha6eeh ib sha3riii…

Then faj2a..

Dawreya: 6oooo6 6oooo6!!! isfe6 3al yemen!!

Enchanteur itsawee roo7ha matesma3, oo t6awel 3al mosajela, oo unpurposly speads up..

The dawreya gets closer and starts to flash; red, blue, blue…

FINALLY! enchanteur decides to park on the left..

She opens the window with a huge smirk on her face..

6alib thabi6: il haweya wel daftar..

hands him both, with the most ongoing evil smirk ever..

Then comes the “oh so cocky police officer”.

Mr Cocky: intay tadreen laish imwagfenech sa7?

Me: la walla laish ? 3indi mo7athara tara mesta3yela.. (smiling)

Mr Cocky: ya3ni mo mkhalfa?

Me: laa, laish mkhalfa?

Mr Cocky: ya3ni makentay tawech tetkalemain bil telephone?

Me: (oh so confindently) LA!

Both officers looking shocked!!

Mr Cocky: LA?!

Me: ee la makent atkalam bel telephone.

Mr Cocky: Ana oo sa7bi athnainatna shayfeenich maska il telephone oo tetkalemain !!!

Me: laa! makent atkalam! tarcheeti 6a7aat oo ga3da arakebha!! (while giggiling bestehza2)

Both officers looking even more shocked and left speechless with their mouths held open.

Mr Cocky: 7elfay!?

Me: la mani 7alfa, ana ma7lef 3ala ay shay. (still giggiling uncontrolably)

Silence…

Mr Cocky: shofay ikhtii.. la ana oo wala sa7bi fog rasna dehen, 3ashan tchathbeen 3alaina chethi.. ok? fa raja2an golay il siij, e7na shefnach tetkalemain bil telephone betgolen il sij wela shloon?

Me: (ib kil 7aqara i talk so slowly chena mayefham) tarcheeetiiiiii… 6aaaa7aaaaaaaat.. fa ga3aaaaaaaadt… arakeebha mara thanya!!!! oo ba3dain itha INTA “met2aked” inik shiftni… laish?! itsafe6ni oo ta36eeni il mokhalafa? mo bemkanik inik itkhalefni bedoon latsafe6ni? bas itsajel raqam il sayara oo chik bom ta36eeni mokhalafa?

Mr Cocky: ee.. bas makent met2aked..

Me: khalas 3ayal damek ta2akadt al7een ini makent atkalam bel telephone malik 7ag tkhalefni.. sa7? (still laughing btw)

Mr Cocky: ……………………………..(having no idea what just hit him) khalas mo moshkela bas mara thanya latchathbeen chethi lana ana sheftech.. yala deray balich 3ala nafsich oo deray balich 3ala tarcheetich mo t6ee7 mara thanya..

Then i close the window while laughing so hard.. SO EVIL!!!

Ok ppl… I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO ME YOMHA OO 7AZAT’HA !! CUZ SERIOUSLY!! NORMALY !! I DO NOT!! I REPEAT!! DO NOT ACT LIKE THAT!!!! bas sij lo bekhalefni kan bemkana ikhalefni without warning bas lani bint !!! wagafni just to show off jidam  the student! I showed him though!!!

Baby Boo!

Around 9:00 pm – june 9th 2008

Ally and I were driving around aimlessly in the streets of mishref.

Ally: u act like a kid sometimes!

Enchanteur: thanx ill take that as a compliment.

I smile (not really) and continue driving.

BS FAJ2A!

Shay bil share3 so tiny almost invisible was curled up motionless scared to death!!

IT WAS A TEENI TINY KITTY!!

And then I start to freak out!!

Enchanteur: Ally ! abaih did u see that! its soo tiny!

Ally: ee shift shift kamlay imshay..

Enchanteur: AND LEAVE HER HERE!! LA MABI BAKHETHHA!!

Ally: Wai3 min sijich?!?! Waskha hathi malat showari3!

Enchanteur: I don’t care!! wetha d3emooha?? mabi go get it im not leaving baby boo bro7ha bil share3!Ally: baby boo?

Enchanteur: EEEEEEEE!! YALAA PLZ!!!

Ally: zain zain!!

Ally got down and got her, and oh my god u wont believe how tiny!! Maskeeenaaaaaa  ma3endaha um! o tarjef oo so skinny … *sigh*

So I drop Ally back and head for bet 3amiti cuz I was spending the night there, and call Meeni..

Meeni: aloo

Enchanteur: Meeni 6il3ay bara bawareech shay..

Meeni: ok..

2 minutes later..

Meeni: abaih min wain hathi?!

Enchanteur: *all choked up* MIN IL SHAARIIII3!!!!!

Meeni: wee maskeena yebeha 5an7e6ha ma3a Noosa (her cat)

Enchanteur: ok…And I think she thinks am her mom!!

and both of us just stand there staring at our new Baby Boo all curled up next to my feet..